Our Wedding

Henry and Alison

November 15th 2009

Waiting Stomata

Waiting Stomata
Poem by Henry SanDiego, written for his beloved fiancé Alison

I was a flower a soft tender flower
Ticking away hours
No bees to kiss my petals or stomata
I was dour oh so dour

I pretended to be a rose but not meant to be
My tender soft petals pedestrian hiding pb
Hollow and wanting love truthseeker my larrup
Oh he was so sad I had truth fled a daily plea

For you see I had found my life giving soil
From years of emerging from a injured coil
I needed my soil called baby baby, Alison or Kumquat
So from rose oil I went to palm oil

Closed my eyes and prayed for baby baby to give me a big hand
Tumbling in tears and fear the gleen of no hope go away
A helping hand, a loving hand, her beautiful soon manicured hand
She smiled and in her off Cockneyed way eyes smiled and face scanned

I fell so deeply in love with her tummy, face and hair
My carrot top companion, friend, soil, helping hand
The greatest pain for me is not her bidding goodbye with a glare
But life misfortune somehow our wonderment foreswear

Baby baby and I have lives seemingly gardens bathed luckless
Warm rain so hard for or to trust or feel safe wretched within
Fear the less or understand more more lower class moreless
So finding our mates bootkicked and not sure and unsure actless

The singular moor, solid branch was the baby babys gaze
So tender, and I must I know treasure every instant
Lest some stupid act cause us waste a smiles ray, miday or forbid any whole weekdays
Runaway minds dripping filled the last we clutched together as constant replays

Waiting, eyes closed head raised slightly left sensing behind me, slow imagined risings
Breathless, softly weeping listening to her voice, tears and breastings
Over ear telephones to the letterbox, movie player in place before me
Nightly placebo, to warm the flotsam and jetsmere of the cold apart world

End
Aug. 30 2009, sandiego

2009 copyright Henry SanDiego

The Heavens in Trouble called an A Team

God, Allah, Muhammad, Jesus, and Buddha were drinking a beer one day. The Gods were in Heavens situation room listening to reports of how the world was losing contact with its people. Religions were being led by charlatans. The disarray was horrible and the Gods in heaven were so sad.

One day Allah suggested that it was indeed not so bad since we United States had elected a Black man and there was hope. Jesus said bah humbug Allah that is just a blip and wont hardly make a difference with so many hard headed people in government only interested in their own pockets and most people glued to TV or surfing the internet, Jesus teared up and said, “I don’t see any hope.” Mohammad said, “oh Jesus you wimp.”

Elvis, an arch angel with his wings clipped short due to his many lacking ways stepped up and said, God, Allah, Buddha listen to me, I have a great idea, why don’t we bring some of our best angels to heaven early so that we can get their genius to help us.

Buddha said, I like that idea Elvis, but what who would we call up early. Muhammad said, “they must be 50 years old at least since I don’t want any inexperienced angels joining and helping our efforts.”

Elvis agreed, and God chimed in and said Elvis we are going to need music to entrance and bring our flock back to us. Elvis said, I recommend Michael Jackson, he is a great guy, flawed and learned some lessons, blameless for many things he is accused of, but its his genius and talent we need now. Buddha leaned over to his left and asked Mother Teresa, “He was innocent of all those nasty things?” Mother nodded and smiled at Mohammad.

But as good as Mike is we need someone to sell things. We need someone to get the word out, said Jesus. We need a real pitchman. Everyone looked a each other and one name was said by at least 2 at the same time. “Billy Mays!” Everyone smiled and God reached in his robe and pulled out his Oxyclean mini spray and said, “he keeps me glowing white.” Everyone laughed in unison and agreement.

Allah leaned over and whispered, we need an amazing woman, you cant sell anything without a Goddess. Betty Page, in her white fish net stockings and large white angel wings, a arch angel of the highest order stood up and stepped to the table from the arch angel back seats and yelled. “You all need someone with a heart, someone who has been through hardship and knows kindess in her soul, Bring Farah Fawcett. God, slapped Jesus on side of his head,” is that the poster you had in your rectory in the sacred garden Jesus?”

God, called over to his reapers and first in line was George Burns, a tarnished angel but a favorite of God and he said, “bring me this A team George, we will surely get this heavens back in order with them?

Then Allah looked over at George and said, “bring us a real newsman too, Walter Cronkite to tell it as it is.”

George nodded and tried suggesting a number of others from Marilyn Chambers to Steve McNair, but the Godess were unwavering in their list.

So it came to pass, and in 2009 the Gods recruited an A team to help them bring the world and Heavens back in balance.

Uncle Bill

RIP

William John Foley

March 1923 - October 2008

Olympets 2008

HONG KONG (AFP) - As athletes from around the world sweat it out in Beijing, Hong Kong's pampered pets are being put though their paces in their own version of the Olympic Games.
From rabbit hurdles and parrot rope-climbing to cat agility contests, a Hong Kong pet shop has organised 10 weeks' worth of events to try to promote sport for animals.

Organiser Howard Cheung, who runs the city-centre PetMAX store, said he was inspired by the Beijing Games, but also wanted to help owners keep their animals healthy.

"Pets need to exercise and they don't have much space in Hong Kong. So we are trying to promote exercise and stimulate owners to exercise their pets," he said.

Most of Hong Kong's seven million people live in tiny cramped apartments and dogs are banned from many city parks.

Nevertheless, pets have become a must-have accessory and are treated accordingly -- grooming parlours abound, and the city even has a bakery dedicated to making cakes for animals.

Cheung said the so-called "Olympets" had proved popular, with 400 animals taking part in the heats held so far.

An awards presentation will be held at the end of August, using pet-sized medals the store has had specially made for the event.

But Cheung admitted the prospect of winning gold was not always enough to inspire the animals.

"Of course for some of the events you have to use treats so they will try harder," he said. "The parrots do have a tendency to climb up the rope anyway, but a treat at the top helps."

Australia’s alleged “fat bomb”

AUSTRALIA has become the fattest nation in the world, with more than 9 million adults now rated as obese or overweight, according to an alarming new report. The most definitive picture of the national obesity crisis to date has found that Australians now outweigh Americans and face a future “fat bomb” that could cause 123,000 premature deaths over the next two decades. If the crisis is not averted, obesity experts have warned, health costs could top $6 billion and an extra 700,000 people will be admitted to hospital for heart attacks, strokes and blood clots caused by excess weight.

The latest figures show 4 million Australians — or 26% of the adult population — are now obese compared to an estimated 25% of Americans. A further 5 million Australians are considered overweight. The report, Australia’s Future ‘Fat Bomb’, from Melbourne’s Baker IDI Heart and Diabetes Institute, will be presented at the Federal Government’s inquiry into obesity, which comes to Melbourne today.

A grim picture is painted of expanding waistlines fueled by a boom in fast food and a decline in physical activity, turning us into a nation of sedentary couch potatoes. Those most at risk of premature death are the middle-aged, with 70% of men and 60% of women aged 45 to 64 now classed as obese.

But some weight specialists have questioned the tool used to measure obesity, saying “entire rugby teams” would be classified as obese if their body mass index (BMI) was calculated. BMI is measured by dividing weight in kilograms by height in metres squared. A BMI of over 25 is considered overweight while more than 30 is obese. But the tool does not distinguish between muscle and fat, prompting calls for the BMI overweight limit to be raised to 28.

However, even leading nutritionist Jenny O’Dea from the University of Sydney — who recently claimed Australia’s childhood obesity epidemic had been exaggerated — has backed the new figures, which suggest that the crisis for adults has been drastically underestimated. Professor O’Dea said that while being fat was not necessarily a health risk for everyone, there was no doubt obesity was taking its toll on the nation.

It was previously thought that around 3 million adults were obese. But many past surveys were seen as unreliable as they often required participants to guess their own weight. The latest data was based on more than 14,000 people at 100 rural and metropolitan sites in every Australian state and territory. Each had their BMI recorded by having their weight, height and waist measured as part of a national blood pressure screening day last year.

The report’s lead author, Simon Stewart, said that even allowing for the BMI’s potential failings, the best case scenario was that 3.6 million adults were battling obesity. “We could fill the MCG 40 times over with the number of obese Australians now, then you can double that if you look at the people who are also overweight — those are amazing figures,” Professor Stewart said. “And in terms of a public health crisis, there is nothing to rival this. If we ran a fat Olympics we’d be gold medal winners as the fattest people on earth at the moment,” he said. “We’ve heard of AIDS orphans in Africa, we’re looking at this time bomb going off where parents have to think about this carefully,” Professor Steward said. “They’re having children at an older age, if you’re obese and you have a child do you really want to miss out on their wedding? “Do you want to miss out on the key events in their life? Yes you will if you don’t do something about your weight now.”

The obesity inquiry in Melbourne will be told that a national strategy encouraging overweight Australians to lose five kilograms in five months could reduce heart-related hospital admissions by 27% and cut deaths by 34% over the next 20 years. Among the radical solutions proposed in the report is a plan to make fat towns compete for “healthy” status in national weight loss contests tied to Federal Government funding. Towns that lost the most weight would be given cash to build sports centres and swimming pools. And like the “Tidy Towns” program, communities would have to meet targets to be eligible for a share of the funding pool.

Other suggestions from Professor Stewart’s report include subsidised gym memberships, personal training sessions for heavier people and restricting weight loss surgery to those who show they can lose some weight on their own first.

One of Australia’s leading obesity experts, Boyd Swinburn, will tell the inquiry in his own submission that a crackdown on junk food marketing to children is paramount in the fight against the epidemic. With the fastest growing rate of childhood obesity in the world, Australia must make radical changes to the way unhealthy food is promoted if the rate is to be reduced, his submission reads. Professor Swinburn, director of the World Health Organisation Collaborating Centre for Obesity Prevention at Deakin University, will argue that better nutritional labeling and more funding for effective treatments such as weight-loss surgery are also necessary. “We’ve got a huge problem here and we can’t bury our head in the sand any more,” Professor Swinburn will tell the inquiry. “The previous federal government blamed parents and individuals and told them to pull up their socks … that’s not going to achieve anything but make us fatter as a nation. “It’s good to see the Rudd Government take obesity seriously with this parliamentary inquiry and the preventative health strategy but that has to be turned into proper policy, regulation and funding.”

Ian Caterson, director of the Institute of Obesity, Nutrition and Exercise at the University of Sydney, said innovative government “thinking outside the square” policies were necessary because, “as we get fatter and older as a nation things are just going to get worse.”

Auntie Barb

R I P
Barbara Alice Goodridge

(Nee Foley)

February 1916 - April 2008